Must decide now and can't make a mistake

Some folks believe there are no bad decisions.Af If you turn left instead of right, you think you've made a mistake -- till you realize this detour is actually a shortcut to the destination of your dreams.

But if you're standing at a fork in the road, here are some guidelines that others have found helpful.

1. Know who you are and what you want -- today. You spent a life as the quintessential urban resident and now seek the countryside. You enjoyed twenty years of law or medicine or sales, and now you find yourself writing poetry and making time to help a third-grader learn to read. Yesterday's decision rules won't work any longer.

2. Be willing to walk away if you're not ready to sign on the dotted line. You always have choices. If you're supposed to have that house or that job, it will be there tomorrow.

3.Share your plans with friends, family and colleagues. Pay attention to how you feel when you share. Pay less attention to their reactions.

4 Uncertainty is a sign that you need more information. Talk to people who have been there. Book knowledge and internet knowledge will be outdated by the time you read it.

5. If you turn right, what is the worst that could happen -- a year from now? Five years down the road? How does that compare to the worst case scenario of turning left?


6. Some people sleep soundly when they don't know where they will get the next mortgage payment. Others toss and turn when their checking account falls below ten thousand dollars. When you live in your own comfort zone, you attract more opportunity.


7, Decisiveness may be valued by your corporate or social culture. In a transition, fast decisions can actually slow you down. Most people have more energy for starting up than starting over.

8. Intuition is your source of power. Keep your batteries charged. Meditate, write in a journal, spend solitary time outdoors. If you feel uncertain or intimidated, go away until you feel stronger.

9. Don't dive right in. Dip a toe into the water. Warm? Start wading. Do you find yourself waving good-by to the people left behind? Are your toes curling happily into the wet sand? Or are you finding sharp rocks, icy water and harsh tides? Do you feel ready to take off and swim to the other side of the world? You can still turn back, but do you want to?

10. Once you've committed to the decision, keep looking ahead. One of my happiest friends says, "I don't agonize over a decision. I assume whatever I chose is right for me and go full speed ahead."

At the same time, remember that few decisions turn into a life sentence. You can always review your new life, get out the maps, and chart a new course for your future.

Cathy Goodwin


Tag decide mistake Cathy Goodwin life

Decisions

For some of us, making a decision is the hardest thing in the world. I know my husband hates to do it and usually wants me to pick the movie, the restaurant, the shirt he should wear. If faced with making his own decision, he goes into "tilt" function (those of you old enough to have played pin-ball know what that means). His dilemma, I believe stems from two sources.

Firstly, the overload of input, which requires organization and orderly thinking, and secondly, the fear of making the wrong choice.

What if we spend our money on a movie and then it is not a very good one? What if the other one would have been better? What if he orders tacos and, as soon as he takes the first bite, he realizes, that he's really in the mood for a quesadilla? Perhaps that is why it takes him 10 minutes to decide what to order at the Taco Bell drive-through. Perhaps that is why cafeteria style dining always stresses him out.

All joking aside, deciding is a slow process. Often people try to rush you to make you accommodate their schedule. You should take your time though. Generally, if you feel uncomfortable making a choice, wait.

If time really is not a factor, disregard it. Take the time to listen inside of you to find out what it is that you really want, need or need to do. It is ok to ask other people for their input, but remember the decision is yours to make. You cannot base decisions on other's opinions, but you should consider what they tell you and weigh the facts.

Be aware of the motives behind others' advice. Sometimes they will have their own interests at heart, not yours. Once you have considered the facts and your feelings about them, try to find the solution that you think will make you the happiest or that will solve the problem or fit the situation the best. Understand your reason for your decision. Be aware of the consequences, the benefits and the losses or sacrifices involved in making this decision. (Remember, if you order tacos, you won't have enough money for the quesadilla).

And here comes the important point. Once you have decided, it is time to follow through. DO NOT LOOK BACK. Do not second-guess yourself. Once you have decided on the tacos, put all your effort into enjoying those tacos. Don't waiste another thought on the quesadilla. If you do, you will always feel ambivalent about your decision. If you still crave a quesadilla after dinner, make a mental note to order it next time you go out.

This step is extremely important in making decisions. You have taken your time and you have thought about it deeply. You have decided, weighing all the facts you had at your disposal. Now it is time to feel good about the decision you made. You earned it!

Many people are afraid to make a decision to quit a destructive habit, such as smoking, gambling, doing drugs, obsessing about a relationship, etc. This is a different kind of deciding. You already have the facts. You know it is destructive. There is no need to think about it. So why do you still wait? Again, I believe there are two reasons.

Firstly, we fear the finality of the decision and its consequences. (What if I have withdrawals? What if on the next draw, I could have hit the big jackpot? What if he changes and treats me better again?) Be honest and realistic with yourself. What are the odds?!

Secondly, we again have trouble with that last step in decision making:
The choice to wholly embrace the decision we have made and to be happy with it.

Here's a little help with that one. Formulate your decision in a positive way. Instead of "I am going to quit smoking" say: "From this day on, I am a non-smoker, and I'm proud of it." Decision is made. Steps are taken, and you can even be happy with it.

Making good, solid decisions build self-esteem. It shows you how competent you are. It lets you know that you can trust yourself. So, what if your decision turns out to be not so good? Well, then you think about it some more and you make another decision. Say, you went to see "Ya-ya-Sisterhood" and the movie stank (to you). No matter what you say to yourself, you really didn't like the flick. Then make the decision to go see a better movie soon.

Reward yourself for trying. You still did the work, even if you didn't like the results.Sometimes our decisions have negative impact on our lives or the lives of people we care about. Sometimes, it seems that there is nothing we can do to fix the damage. We can examine our decision-making process and see if we need to improve on it.

If we have truly done all we can and things still turn out wrong, then we may have to decide to live with it, to embrace our mistakes and forgive ourselves for being fallible human beings:

We have to decide to let go.

Tyger


Tag Decisions Tyger

Toughest Decision of All

Many of us are influenced by the sports ethic: Never give up! When a basketball team is down by 20 with 30 seconds on the clock, the players never stop working. The spectators might be filing out, and the winning team might bring in the bench players, but the game goes on.

If your game is a business or a job, the whistle won't blow to end the game. If you keep going and win, you may gain a lifelong prize. If you keep throwing good money and energy into a losing cause, the whistle can blow for unemployment or bankruptcy.

"Should I keep going?" is one of the most difficult questions for anyone, including career counselors and coaches. There is no single answer, but here are some ways to focus the question.

1. How did you get into the situation? Were you encouraged by a spouse, parent, friend or coach? You have a better chance of fulfilling your own dream than someone else's.

2. Is there a little voice in your head that whispers, "Maybe you should be doing X instead?"
Pay attention, especially if you can put a name on "X" ,and if you've been playing this game awhile. Most people yearn for what's familiar when they start a new venture, but if the feeling persists, don't ignore it.

3. Does your new venture refuse to go away? If you try to leave your job, do you find yourself getting caught up in a new project or rewarded with a new promotion?

One speaker, accepting a local "Entrepreneur of the Year" award, told the audience, "I hated this business. I tried to sell it but nobody would buy me out. I was forced to fix it up and, in the process, found success."

4. What is the universe telling you?
Are you getting customers?
Is your progress considerably faster or slower than your peers and competitors?
Has anything clicked into place for you, seemingly without effort?
Pay attention to actions and symbols. Ignore direct commentary, especially unsolicited advice. Consultants and coaches may be influenced by whether they get paid to keep you going.

5. What is your own historical trend?
Do you tend to give up too easily or hang on too long? If you have alife-long trend, get objective advice before you jump either way.


6. Are you still having fun?
A loss of enthusiasm can be temporary, especially if you're fatigued or just experienced a setback. Long-term discouragement will create negative energy and ultimately destroy your business.

7. Must your decision be either-or? Can you continue a business part-time with a manager? Can you look for a new job but also start a business? Multi-tasking can fragment energies but also offer unparalleled opportunities.


Tag toughest decision of all life business