Become the change that you wish to see

We spend so much of our time and energy lamenting over the negative state of the world. We want to change our world, our systems, rules, cultures and people but not ourselves. But the only way to change the world and make a difference in the world is by changing ourselves.

Instead of lamenting over the negative state of the world, think rather what we can do to make it a positive one. Mahatma Gandhi encourages us to become the change that we wish to see in the world.

Change is tough and no one likes to change though as Heraclitus said it is the only constant thing in the world. The world is like a river flowing, we can never step into the same water twice. Everything is in constant flux and if we don't change we will be ineffective and irrelevant. Someone told me jokingly that the only one who longs for a change is a wet baby. No one likes change and yet it is change that has changed the world and brought us so much progress.

Change means different things to different people. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse; to the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better; to the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better. We have become so much settled in our contexts, ideas, attitudes and mindset that we find it impossible to change and grow. Not only that we are unwilling and afraid to change, we also prevent others from changing and adapting themselves to this fast changing world.

Change requires movement and every movement brings about some kind of friction and tension. But this friction can smoothen our rough edges and make us more effective in our careers and commitments.

Here are some ways to change ourselves and thus change the world.

1. Change your attitudes
The greatest discovery of our times is that we are able to change our attitudes. Don't attribute our low self-esteem and negative attitudes to our backgrounds rather take some steps to change our attitudes, beliefs and mindsets. When we do this we will change the world. The world today is for people with positive attitudes. Such people find happiness in everyone and everywhere. Be ready to adapt and adjust yourself to the situations. Change your attitudes and you change the world.

2. Know yourself
Know yourself to make a difference in the world and in your life. Find out who you really are and discover your innumerable potentialities and capabilities. This will help you to courageously take responsibility to change the world. Only when you know yourself you will be able to love yourself. Self-love is the foundation for love of others. If you don't love and respect yourself you will never be able to love and respect others. Believe that we have the power to change ourselves and change the world. The first step towards change is self-awareness and the next is self-acceptance. When we realize who we are we will feel the need for change and then we will welcome change.

3. Become responsible and respectable
This is another way to make a difference in the world. All of us see the poor situation of the world, all of us lament about it, but few of us take the responsibility to correct the world. We must take responsibility and become responsive to the changes in the world. When we are responsible we become respectable and admirable. You may not change the circumstances, the seasons, the wind, or the people but you can change yourself. Do this first. We must take responsibility for our lives and deeds and then the world will change.

4. Build lasting relationships

Most problems in our world are due to the absence of genuine relationships. Relationships like commodities have become so short-lived and today we use and throw away people like things. We need to build up our relationship skills to change others and ourselves. This change will bring harmony and joy to us. Money can't buy this joy. Positions can't give us this. The source of this happiness is our cordial relationships with our fellow beings. Everyone is unique and everyone can contribute something to this world. Look at persons as treasures of great possibilities and go beyond linguistic, religious, cultural and political barriers and relate and love everyone just as we love ourselves.

5. Build yourself and build the world
Change is always associated with action. It denotes a transition from one state to another. We need to build ourselves and build the world to bring the difference that we want to see. It is not the result of violent revolutions and shrewd political triumphs but a slow action that breeds in our hearts, which gradually spreads to transform the world positively and productively. Economically, physically and politically the results may not be shown suddenly, but slowly a change will take place within us which will still slowly spread to the world. The world will change only when we change. When we change we grow young.

An old Jewish story tells the reaction of a learned, wise rabbi to this excited announcement by a member of his congregation: "The Messiah has come! He is in our city now!"

"Really?" mused the rabbi.

Going to the window the rabbi looked out on the city and observed: "I see no difference."

After all our efforts we may not see any difference in the outer world but be glad that we have made a difference in our inner world.

Become the change that you wish to see in the world.

Joshy Thomas
Written by Joshy Thomas


Tag Become change wish Joshy Thomas

Seven Ways to Make Change Easier

Seven Ways to Make Change Easier
by Marta Kagan
Business Coach, Life Coach & Motivational Speaker


*Question: "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?"
Answer: "Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change." *

There's a reason why the phrase, "People don't change," is so popular. Change is hard. Change requires us to take risks, to step outside of our comfort zones, and to be fully conscious of our choices and actions.

But let's be very clear about one thing. People can change. And while it's true that most people don't, the fact is that one's behavior, attitude, and perspectives are infinitely malleable. The possibility for change is always present.

In my work as a life coach, I help people make changes in their lives all the time. I can personally attest to the fact that people CAN change; and that people DO change. What I'll share with you now are the seven most common obstacles to change - and a few tips for overcoming them. May they help you in achieving profound, positive and lasting changes in your own life!

*People don't change because they "should"... but they don't really want to. *

Do any of these "should's" sound familiar?:

"I should lose 20 pounds."
"I should quit smoking."
"I should finally write that book."

The problem is that what you should do often bears little resemblance to what you want to do. And you really have to want something in order to sustain the effort and commitment that true change demands. Next time you catch yourself saying, "I really should..." ask yourself why? If you can't come up with at least three compelling, personal reasons ("Because my boyfriend wants me to" is NOT a compelling, personal reason to anyone but your boyfriend), I suggest you consider putting your efforts toward a more rewarding pursuit.

Let me repeat: change is hard! The more you want it, the easier it will be. Change that is driven by something you are DYING to achieve or overcome provides far more motivation than change that is fueled by a desire to please, appease, or impress someone.

Tip #1: Skip the "should's" and focus on the changes that really matter. This is YOUR life. The only thing you "should" do is live it on purpose!

*People don't change because the results aren't immediate.*

Humans are very 'instant gratification-oriented' creatures. We don't naturally think long-term. Ask the average person where they'd like to be five years from now and you're likely to get a resounding, "I have no clue."

The point is, the more immediate the benefits of making a change, the more likely you are to succeed in making it. That's why a person can drop 10 pounds in a week for their high school reunion but can't fathom losing 50 pounds in a year - despite the significantly greater benefits of the latter.

Tip #2: Even if the change you wish to make is a "long-term investment", define at least one immediate benefit of getting started. Once you've realized the first "immediate" benefit, define the next one. Repeat this process until the overall change is complete.

*People don't change because they don't know where to begin.*

Changing behavior can feel like climbing a mountain - completely overwhelming, treacherous, and exhausting. It's easy to get stuck endlessly plotting your course - but never quite getting started.

The very best way to begin climbing a mountain is this: one small step at a time.

Tip #3: Instead of trying to "tackle the mountain," focus on just taking the first step. Define one 'bite-size' thing you can do immediately to start moving in the direction of your ultimate goal.

*People don't change because they're afraid - of failure, rejection, or simply "the unknown." *

Change is not only hard - it's scary! What if you fail? What if your friends/family don't like the "new and improved" version of you? What if...?

Humans - like most animals - have an unconscious tendency toward homeostasis - the urge to continue doing what they've always done. This "homeostatic impulse" can be so irresistible that people will actually recreate an unpleasant - but familiar - situation for themselves, simply because that familiarity is comforting.

Have you ever know someone who lost a job they absolutely hated and then went out looking for the very same job someplace else? Or someone who repeatedly leaves one unhealthy or abusive relationship for another one? That's our homeostatic impulse in action.

The point is, our fear of the unknown exerts a powerful influence over us. Powerful enough to keep us in homeostasis indefinitely.

Tip #4: When we're afraid, we feel powerless. Take back your power by taking action. Next time you're stuck in homeostasis, ask yourself this question: Do I really want to go through life feeling afraid and missing out on so much of the joy that life has to offer? Act accordingly!

*People don't change because they don't have support. *

There are plenty of skeptics, critics, and saboteurs out there - and they certainly don't make the process of change any easier. Plus, there's that nagging chatterbox in your head that's always willing to deliver some fuel for the self-doubt fire.

Tip #5: Get support! Identify the people in your life who are likely to encourage and support you and share your plans/goals with them. Ask them to be your 'support team' - someone who can talk you off a ledge when the going gets really tough.

*People don't change because their expectations are out of line with their efforts. *

Let me put this simply: you can't plant oats and expect to get barley. You will - whether you believe me or not - ultimately reap whatever it is that you sow.

I had a client a few weeks ago who said to me, "I've been trying so hard to get over this relationship and move on with my life, but I just can't seem to get anywhere!" When I asked her what steps she was taking to "move on" , she couldn't come up with any! "I'm staying busy, you know, working a lot." - Which is exactly what she was up to before the break up. Nothing about her life, her attitude, or behavior had changed. What's more, she was still spending up to an hour a day on the phone with her ex-! Talk about expectations out of line with efforts.

Tip #6: Get real and get honest (with yourself, that is). If you're trying but not seeing the results that you'd hoped for, take a good long look at the efforts you're making and realign them with the expectations you've set.

*People don't change because they forget that change is a process, not merely a result. *

There are four distinct stages in the process of change:

Stage 1: Discovery. "Oh, that's what's happening."
Stage 2: Static awareness. "It's happening again - but I don't know what to do about it."
Stage 3: Empowered awareness. "It's about to happen again... and I'm going to try a new approach in an effort to change the outcome."
Stage 4: Reflection. "I remember when that used to happen!"

While it's the result you're ultimately working toward, there is progress worth acknowledging along the way as well! It's not an "all or nothing" endeavor. Every step you take toward a goal is change.

Tip #7: Give yourself credit. Acknowledge your progress. And be patient! It's taken you years to develop the habits, behaviors, and attitudes that you have now. It just might take a few weeks or months to change them!

(Note: Research shows that it takes an average of 21 days for your brain to form a new neural pathway - a new "cow path" that allows messages to move rapidly from brain to muscle and back again. Which means, it takes an average of 21 days for a human to "learn" a new skill. In my experience as a life coach, behavior change takes even longer - between 90 and 180 days on average. Changes in attitude or perspective, however, can happen much more rapidly.)

Charles Darwin once said, "The species that survive are usually not the smartest or the strongest, but the ones most responsive to change." Change is vital to our survival. It is a skill worth mastering; a challenge worth confronting. Homeostasis will always be there, ready and willing to welcome you back - so don't be afraid to take a little trip beyond her reach.

Change has an amazing, empowering effect on all of us, a thought well captured in the following quote: "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."

Exactly.

© 2004 Marta Kagan


Tag Change Easier Marta Kagan